First Breakups….

My little cousin, who is spending the night with me tonight, is currently locked in my sitting room having a conversation that I’m sure will lead to a heavy discussion later tonight. Earlier this afternoon, she told me that her boyfriend (we’ll call him Jason) was acting strange all week. Things that used to be routine for them, he didn’t want to do anymore. He had all but stopped talking to her, and when she asked him what was wrong, he just avoided the topic.

In short, she told me that he was going to call her tonight, and she was pretty sure that he was going to break up with her. I’m not going to lie, I’ve been straining my ears to hear a bit of what’s being said. Yes, I’m nosy. I’ll admit to it. In my defense, she is in my room…. Now, I’m not quite sure that a breakup is in the process as I type these words. It probably isn’t a good sign that she locked the door when I walked by, but if it is, I thought that I’d write a few words on the topic in case any of you are going through the same thing.

First of all, don’t break up with someone over the phone. Be a man….or woman….and do it in person. Unless you’re afraid of some type of physical alteration (which I doubt), you owe it to that person to explain your reasoning to them in person. I know watching someone cry is hard, and I know you don’t want to see your soon-to-be-ex upset, but trust me, it’s the right thing to do. Don’t try to make things easier on yourself at the expense of making things worse for the other person.

Secondly, (since I just went in there and apparently they did break up) don’t give vague, meaningless reasons why you don’t want to be with them anymore. Tell the truth. It’s going to hurt either way, so why not tell them the truth? At least something better than, “I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”

As for the people that just got their hearts broken….you are in good company. All of us have experienced it, and this probably won’t be the last time you experience it. It hurts. Really bad. Especially if it’s your first breakup, you may feel (as my cousin does) that the hurt will never ease up, but it will. It’ll take some time, maybe lots of time, but you’ll think back on it one day, and it won’t hurt as bad. You’ll move on. You’ll meet someone new, and you’ll be better for it.

For now, just let it hurt. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be upset, but don’t let it stop you from living. Know in the back of your head that this is not the end and that you will find someone new, someone even better than before. Pop in some of your favorite Disney movies and spend some time with your closest friends. Keep your head up. Everything’s going to be alright 🙂


*As always, if you have any questions, comments, concerns, etc. you can always e-mail me at or leave something in the comments section (even though you may not be able to see it, you can now post anonymously).*

6 thoughts on “First Breakups….

  1. Elm says:

    You have NO idea how much your post just helped me. Honestly, right now I’m in pieces over my breakup, but just to know that there are people like you – who understand – makes it feel so much more bearable. Thank you.


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