A while ago, I asked my boyfriend to write something for my blog since I thought he gave really great advice, and, many time, a different perspective on things than I normally would. I think different perspectives are very much a good thing and help you to form a more well rounded opinion. For his debut post, he chose to write about love, and besides the fact that I feel a bit awkward posting something that glamorizes me so much (didn’t know it was going to end up being about me lol), I really love and agree with what he said. Enjoy!
Well, hello there, snoopy little one! Looking down the rabbit hole, are we, now? You’ve most certainly heard of me from Alice. I’m the one she keeps referring to as The Hatter, or well, “her boyfriend.” When Alice first wanted me to write on this blog, I was a little hesitant. I mean, this blog, was, after all, always meant to be a way for Alice to help people like she loves doing, an outlet for her creativity, and a place for her to write, meet people, and just be herself. Plus, from what I’ve read on her posts, Alice makes me sound like a nice, helpful person, which I most certainly am not, and it’s going to be incredibly hard to live up to that pedestal Alice puts me on. It brings to mind the saying about never meeting your heroes, although I’m far from a hero, and you’ll probably never really meet me. Anyway, I digress. When I agreed to write a post on the blog, I was thinking about what I should write about, and while there’s a bunch of stuff I could write about, I feel nothing would be as appropriate as talking about the one thing that all of us love: Love. (See what I did there? ;))
I’m going to be honest here and say that I never used to be a big believer in love. While most people are turned away from love because they find the concept of it cheesy, or because they’ve had incidents that have pushed them towards that conclusion, to me, love was always something that I never thought I needed. I have always been incredibly ambitious, and a big dreamer, as Alice will tell you (I don’t really do anything with my dreams, but hey, that’s another story!), and I have, as long as I can remember, wanted to leave a mark on the world, have a page in the annals of history, make a name for myself. Having a happy family, in a house with a white picket fence, and watching kids run around was never something that appealed to me. In fact, I used to think that people who settled for a family were settling for something less than their “purpose” in life. All this, of course, changed when I met Alice, and that’s the reason we’re here today.
How I feel today couldn’t be further from how I used to feel about love. Since Alice came into my life my outlook towards life, and the world in general has changed quite a bit. “It’s love that makes the world go round,” said W. S. Gilbert. While I don’t know if that applies to the whole world, I know that it does to mine. Alice and I met online, on Wattpad, a site for bloggers. We started talking on that site for a while, and then started texting each other, and I still remember the day we had our first Skype conversation. I was boarding a bus to go visit some friends, and found a nice, secluded spot at the back and connected to the Wi-Fi. When Alice told me that she was having trouble getting on her computer as she had just spilt some Coke on it, I thought that I had been getting cat-fished for sure. I hadn’t. Alice really is that much of a klutz. I saw her for the first time, ever, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. She was beautiful, and far beyond what I had expected. I’d seen pictures of her, but they did her no justice, and her personality – a combination of naivety, awkwardness, and general goofiness, was unbelievably endearing. The reason I remember that day so vividly, is not just because it was the first time I “met” Alice, but because she wouldn’t stop talking! I’d been hearing for days about how shy she was with new people, and here she was, telling me about her entire family (this included her grandfather, grandmother, great-grand-uncle, and relatives I can’t even connect back to her now!)
From that day on, I’d say that Alice has changed me in ways that I never thought I’d ever change. I went from questioning the whole concept of a family, to wanting kids with her. From thinking that love was something stupid people did to wile away time, to wanting to spend every minute I possible could, with her. From thinking that long-distance was a sorry excuse for people that were either too shy or too busy to have a “real” relationship, to wanting to beat the odds, and spend a life together. In our own small way, I think we have shown ourselves, and the people around us, that love really does exist. That ‘true love’ is a possibility for even the biggest critic of the concept. That you really can put another person above yourself.
This is my understanding of love. It is far from the “one true way” and I will be the first to acknowledge that love can often take a different form and meaning to different individuals. To me, love is about wanting to spend every waking minute with another person. Love, is about thinking of someone and feeling that warm glow spread through you. Love, is about doing things that you’d never do otherwise, simply because you derive your happiness from another’s. Love, is about being yourself, and knowing that nothing will change. Love, is about going to bed, and waking up, thankful that you get another day to spend with your significant other. Love, is about wanting to watch the stars together, lying in a lush green meadow, holding hands, without a care in the world. Love, is about growing old together, hobbling away into the sunset, hands held. Love, is about Alice.